I have no idea why I signed up at the MLP Arena forums. Or, more accurately, I have no idea why I allowed myself to go through with it. They’re very friendly, they really are. And beyond an initial introduction post, you are not technically required to interact with anyone.

But the problem with intro posts is, generally, people want to talk after. And I’m okay with the “hi, welcome” responses, embarrassed by them, but sure, they’re simple, polite, all you have to do is put on a smile and say thanks. Its the ones who want more info. I don’t have anything to say. I had to scrounge for the proper mask and fumble for anything at all to say just to give you what I got. I’m not that good at talking, anyway, when you make the subject me…just forget it. I’m a dear in headlights. And really, who the fuck wants to talk about me? I’m boring and obnoxious, and on my good days, completely worthless. THERE IS NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT.

And I am aware of the irony involved in saying that you hate talking about yourself on your own internet blog. But if you look around, its all reactions to others, clips of emotion, glossy little bits of rant and obsession, some memes and old cuts of conversation. I’m sure you can piece me together fairly well from reading this, but its not all of me. And when do I ever sit and say, “here’s who I am?”

I don’t. Because I don’t like her. I don’t want to go into her. And if you actually knew her, you wouldn’t, either. Except nobody ever believes that. They think you’re being silly or melodramatic. And maybe I am on the latter, but since when does that preclude truth?