I’m a little giddy today. There were two back issues of Playboy that I’d been wanting, but to get them actually from Playboy, they would’ve been $35, and that’s before shipping. Which, ahahahahahaha, NO. So, eBay, except no one was ever selling the one, and the other was always getting pulled by eBay when it DID get listed. But the gods of porn and girlcrushes have banded together and smiled upon me, and LO! I am getting them both, including shipping for $22! WHEEEEEEE!!

And as always, having paid, I now want them to magically appear beside me. I also want them to be in utterly fabulous condition, because I’m always a little worried that the seller will have drastically different standards than I, and…well, you just never know, do you? So nervous and impatient, but still — giddy.

Perhaps someday some of my other crushes will pose. Like Jeri! Which will never ever happen, because hello, this is the woman is divorced her husband for trying to force her into going to a sex club. And don’t get me wrong, he deserved to get dumped on his ass, because you don’t force people into stuff like that, you bring it up timidly and privately, and also — the gods deigned to give you Jeri Ryan, and you wanna tell her to have sex with other people? Are you very stoned?

I’d also like to see Eliza Dushku, and Britney, and Lindsay, but out of the group, I’d say the only one likely to do it is Brit, and her probably not until she’s in her forties and in the midst of a blitz for, like, her seventh career comeback. Sadly, I think I’d most like to see Eliza, and given the whole Mormon-background thing, she’s probably even less likely to do it than Jeri.

I guess I just need sluttier girlcrushes….